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January 30, 2005
The kids
(Note the gate in the background. It has begun.)
Posted by janna at 11:17 PM
An 'almost' walking machine
Yesterday was a big confidence day for Gus. Every opportunity he saw for flashing his new walking skills, he tried to take it. The best part was watching his face as he was preparting to walk. He would scan the space for a moment, have this smile and go. Sometimes it was just a couple steps, other times it was about four steps. He started walking out into the open expanse of the room, with no near safety net. He would fall and catch himself, still happy.
I love it all.
With Gus being 24 pounds now, I think I'm ready for some independent mobility. My back is, at least!
Posted by janna at 07:40 AM | Comments (1)
January 27, 2005
The science experiments continue
That's what I choose to call these little tests of will that Gus is throwing our way.
Tonight it was a little pinch on my finger, all while watching my face.
THEN it was the clinching of the fists and face and grunting in frustration after I told him not to do something.
While this is happening, I always clearly say no and then give him alternative behavior...like kissing mama, or 'nice mama' (which means nice petting of mama rather than slapping), or biting something that isn't human, you know, things of that nature.
The hardest part? NOT LAUGHING. It's hard! It's like I see a glimpse of Gus at 9 or 10... or 11, 12, or 13...my God, so many possible years of testing, but with a bigger brain and more smarts. It's hard because he already has that look, the kind where after he's done something he kind of looks off and smirks? Is that hard-wired? Where the hell did he learn that? I can see how people would think that the child is being manipulative or purposeful in his actions, because it's the same behavior you can see everyday at work (minus pinching, I hope). I laugh because I know he doesn't even know what he's doing other than testing his world out. I just have to be careful not to laugh outloud.
This reminds me of an incident I was involved in as a child. I was probably five or six (Mom?). I was in my bedroom. Mom came in. I don't remember the details around how we ended up there, but I do remember this: I flipped my Mom off. Wow, she didn't like that, so she said, "Don't do that." Now, at this point, I'm thinking, hey...this is getting to her. I have no idea what this finger means but it is a sharp, aggitating weapon!
So I flipped her off again.
That's when I experienced my first of two spankings in my life.
That didn't stop me, though. First I signed, "That didn't hurt!" (Make the 'F' sign, or the 'ok' sign with both hands, shaking them back and forth, all the while making a bratty face). Then: Out... came... the... DOUBLE FLIP OFF. Yes, both hands, aimed right at Mom.
That's when I experienced my second of two spankings in my life.
Let's just say I've never flipped my Mom off again. I'd suggest you refrain, too. Mom's got a hidden can of whoop ass that only comes out on very, very RARE occasions. (Love you, Mom!)
To end on an upbeat note, Gus has taken to grunting with pleasure while eating. Tonight, Gus and I were sitting on the floor, playing. He stopped, got very quiet, and looked towards the door, as if he had heard something. He started signing and saying "Papa!" Unfortunately, it wasn't Papa, as he was out celebrating someone's last day in the office. When I called John to tell him that, he said, "I'm never doing anything after work ever again!"
We'll see about that.
On a secondary upbeat note, next week is John's last week at his current job. He's going to be freelancing for six months at...
Orbitz.
Posted by janna at 08:55 PM | Comments (2)
January 25, 2005
how much can (or should) happen in 24 hours?
Ok, I'm tired. But enough about me.
Gus is on day two of a fever. He woke up yesterday morning with a temp of 101. I took him to daycare after it seemed to go down, but was called to pick him up early as it had spiked again. It lingered today, as well, so we went to the doctor's.
A double ear infection.
I blame milk. All of this sickness has really come about since Gus has started drinking milk. I guess I should also blame his age and daycare and winter, but that's too easy. Milk? It's more fun to blame. Damn you, dairy, and your mucous-creating ways.
So if these things weren't enough for one day, let me go on.
Gus was up all night. I was deliriously tired. I had him in bed with us. I was sleeping on John's side. I fell asleep while nursing Gus. I woke up to a THUD.
And the "Bad Mother of the Day" award goes to.... the woman who let her son fall off the bed.
Why am I even putting this out there? I feel like hell about it. HE'S FINE, I should mention, it just scared him more than anything. My heart was racing.
This is not the news I will end this entry with, though. Oh no. Gus showed me that no fall was going to stop him from...
WALKING!
This is why he had ear infections, this is why he had a fever, this is why I stayed home today. I needed to witness his first steps. He took three steps towards the couch after I let go of his hand. The look of pride on Gustav's face was amazing. He was full of joy. I literally jumped up and down, I couldn't believe it. I also couldn't believe how excited I was about it. I thought I might be almost sad, but no. I was invigorated. At the doctor's office, he did it two more times, both walking from the toy table to me, about three or four steps.
Next week: running.
But in the meantime, if Gus wakes up tonight, I may just put some chairs up to the side of my bed, for protection. My Grandma used to do that. When I would visit, she would put two or three of the dining room chairs against my bed so that I wouldn't fall on the floor. That didn't keep me from getting up and stepping on a toothpick that stayed in my foot for three months, but that's an entirely different story. I'll let you wonder.
Posted by janna at 09:27 PM | Comments (2)
January 23, 2005
Shoveling for the twentieth time
I have no room to complain. I, for one, am not the shoveler. We are also only dealing with maybe ten inches of snow. But, may I complain that we did not get more? I have two friends in the Boston area who, I choose to believe, are enjoying a little piece of heaven this weekend. They are stuck at home, unable (and/or unwilling) to leave the warm confines. They CAN'T run errands, they CAN'T be on the go. I love it when life forces you to stop, take a breather, ration your food, things of that nature.
Gus has been screaming this weekend. I realize this is not abnormal, but he's doing this crazy high-pitched, quick screams out of frustration, and it in turn makes me frustrated. I suppose I would be a little on edge if I had three teeth coming in at once, I desperately needed a nap ('I'm just a little boy!'), and I couldn't explain to my mother that the reason I wanted her bowl of oatmeal over my dopey little bowl of oatmeal was just BECAUSE. Because it's bigger, because, even though it's the same oatmeal, it's still different. Because it's yours and I want it and I will have it, so plug your ears, Mama, because I'm going to dole out the biggest scream.
I didn't give him my bowl of oatmeal. It soon became a matter of principle. Mama has certain things and Gus has certain things, and if I give in to the damn bowl of oatmeal, I'm doomed to give in to everything...he'll be fourteen and throwing tantrums and getting everything he wants and I'll be complaining about it, and I'll curse that damn oatmeal for the rest of my life.
But seriously. I don't have that sense of "I'm the boss, you'll do as I say because I rule over you." I do, however, feel like we are at a pivotal time when Gus is running his little science experiments on life, trying to figure out how things work, writing down all the statistics and results that he will gather over time.
He will come to some big conclusions from these experiments:
Experiment: When I smile, Mama and Papa smile.
Result: That makes me feel good. I will do this again and again because I like feeling good.
Experiment: When I scream, Mama and Papa instantly look at me.
Result: Attention! But wait... Mama has started saying 'no no no' when I do this. so there's a new result: I scream, she says 'no no no', and I shake my head, and then I repeat.
We're working on it.
Posted by janna at 11:04 AM | Comments (0)
January 19, 2005
The sweetest sound
Why is there no way to bottle sweetness? By sweetness, I mean the soft muttering of 'Ma-ma....ma-ma.....ma-ma' that Gus sometimes makes to himself. Whenever I hear it, I want to capture it somehow and roll around in it and never forget it.
Then I get sad that I don't get to be with him all the time.... then I feel so glad that he gets to be in such a wonderful place like Cristy's home.... then I wish I could just stay at Cristy's and watch Gus with all the kids.... then I'm really glad that I get to do the work I enjoy.... then I'm okay for another month. :)
Ah, Gus. You are learning so much so quickly. You now sign 'cookie' for about any bread product you see. When we went to Iowa last weekend for Grandma Shirley's birthday, your language just exploded even more. Grandma Shirley has quite the influence on your signing. In fact, Cristy asked me the other day what the sign for poo poo was. I showed her (basically pinching your nose) and she said, no, that's not what he signed. When she showed me what he signed, I couldn't believe it...whenever Cristy or Elodia says poo poo, Gus signs diaper! It's stuff like that, the learning that I didn't even know was happening, that both excites and frightens me.
Janna, you have to stop swearing, you must, you must...
(the pictures are backwards... the first picture is the last picture on page three. I'm too tired to change that fact. I believe we'll all be stronger because of it.)
Highlights/Memories of the trip, in no particular order:
-Gus first stepping in Meesha dog's bowl of water with his shoe on, and then subsequently being caught with a piece of dog kibble chewed up in his mouth. Yes, my son ate dog food. I'm a horrible parent.
-Sorting through boxes of my stored stuff at my Mom's house. Notable finds include: zipper earrings, purple telephone earings, my baby ring, my Cabbage Patch animal birth certificate... and too many big hair pictures of myself.
-Going to the zoo when it's five degrees outside.
-Seeing Sue's new home and having a slumber party there.
-Cooking up Pork Medallions, Juila Childs-style, for Mom's birthday. The French know how to eat, dammit. The banana bread pudding was pretty amazing, too.
-Seeing Missy, Pete, Sarah, Pat and all the kids...
-Taking a nap on my mom's couch.
-Gus napping twice every day we were in Iowa. Miracle of all miracles!
-Saying goodbye to Sue's love, Snoopy dog, and saying hello to a new love, Tasha.
-Just being around my Mom.
good night...
Posted by janna at 11:01 PM
January 14, 2005
happy birthday, grandma shirley!
Today we celebrate you!
See you soon,
xoxo
us
Posted by janna at 12:07 AM | Comments (0)
January 11, 2005
one-handed walking
The whole two-handed walking thing seemed bizarre to me...it really cannot be comfortable to walk around this life with your arms straight above your head, stuck in some kind of permanent 'hallelujah'. Tonight, ladies and gentleman, it happened. One-handed walking, the kind I will have with Gus well into his childhood, the kind that will happen when we're shopping, or crossing the street, or happy to see each other. He was uncertain at first, but with each little step he became quicker, more confident, and in turn less willing to go back to the 'hallelujah'. John came over to offer his hand to the one floating out from Gustav's body, holding the imaginary banister that was keeping his balance. So here is John's hand, ready, willing, waiting to be taken....but no. Gus pulls his hand back, explicitly showing his desire to keep going. So on we went.
Have I mentioned lately that I love this boy, that I love these boys? There.
The past few nights, as I've started the "It's time for rest" routine, Gus has been wanting John to put him to bed. It's the sweetest thing, putting his arms out for John, then snuggling into the nape of his neck, head resting on the lovely shoulder (oh, how lovely it is to rest there). Gus practically dives out of our arms into bed these days. Oh, thank you, sweet sleeping powers, thank you!
We went to visit Baby Pearl on Sunday, precious little girl...She is so shockingly light, not because she is small for her age, but because I am used to carrying Gus.
Kyle stayed with us last night after arriving on our stoop yesterday at 5 am. Ah, to be in college and on winter break. So good to see him...
And Zeppo... she puts up with so much, and not with as much attention as she used to get. She has been amazing with Gus, letting him pet her and take her toys away. Just wait 'til he can walk, Z...
Posted by janna at 09:14 PM | Comments (1)
January 06, 2005
Stay back, ye who approach our home
Oh, my hopes were high. I wanted snow up to my throat, the kind of snow where you buckle down, accept how futile it would be to shovel, wear pajamas and just feel warm and secure inside. I wanted snow that shut down work, gave me an excuse to make quiche...just because...and was so high we didn't care that we couldn't go out because we had absolutely everything we had inside.
While we did get a lot of snow, and Gus practically woke up signing snow, it was not even close enough to give us an excuse to NOT shovel, to not wrap Gus up in his snowsuit, to not go to work. I guess the ten-year-old Janna is still around, hoping that school will be cancelled.
Gus is 13 months today. I finally realized today why people stick with months when referring to their child under two. So much happens in this second year that to simply say your child is one does not do justice.
Cristy said that Gus was signing cookie today and then pointing at the jar. Oh, my....
Posted by janna at 10:09 PM
January 05, 2005
But...
"I don't want you to go to bed yet," I said to Gus as he gave me 101 signs that it was, indeed, time for bed.
Gus went to daycare today. On our way to the garage, the ground was covered in snow. I signed 'snow' a couple of times (bend your elbows in front of you, palms open facing out, then move your forearms and twinkling fingers down so that your arms are almost straight in front of you). As I was driving, I said snow a few times. Every time, Gus started doing his own version of snow. Quick, quick! He was so excited.
Just wait until the morning, Gus, when you'll have a foot of it to marvel at.
(will we be snowed in?)
Posted by janna at 10:58 PM
January 03, 2005
Careful what you ask for
I said in my last entry that I have loved every minute of being home with Gus, and I totally meant it. I did not, however, mean to send some crazy signals into the cosmos which then, in turn, infected Gus with bronchitis and an ear infection.
I am not lying.
This morning Gus woke up with the worst-sounding, hoarsest cough/cry. Despite this, I convinced myself for an hour that he would be okay. I was dressed, getting my bag ready to go, when I heard him kind of wheezing a bit as he crawled to me.
So I stayed home.
We went to the doctor, and while we waited FOR AN HOUR (!), Gus seemed happy, and why wouldn't he be? It was the first time he had seen little people in eons and it was like he was drinking from water for the first time in two weeks, so thirsty was he for other kiddies.
But then the time passed, the cough came, and I remembered why we were there. And all those self-critical moments I had hours before, of being too worried, too jumpy, too presumptive, too self-diagnosing (I love the Internet) were totally washed away. If I have not learned yet, I have to learn to just trust my instinct, to not worry about if the doctor will think I'm silly, work will think I'm silly, friends will think I'm silly. In this case, it was critical to get him on meds right away, but what if it hadn't? So I would have been out 15 dollars, I would have had an extra day snuggling with Gus, and my weird worrisome nature about other peoples' perceptions of me would have been fed a bit more.
So here's a resolution: give people the chance to create the chatter, don't jump the gun and do it for them (especially when most of the time it will never even cross their minds... does this make me pompous, to think that people would even take that much time to concern about my intentions?).
And another resolution (I know, I said no resolutions, but it's an entirely different day): Trust that I am a good mom (I prefer Mama, actually...).
Think good, happy, healthy thoughts for Gus, he needs them. He's home tomorrow, too. His fever went higher today, poop.
Posted by janna at 11:31 PM
January 02, 2005
happy new year
How in the heck is it 2005?
That means I've been in Chicago for seven years.
Means I graduated from U. of Chicago almost five years ago.
Means that, as my lovely Anji pointed out, we're in a 'hump' year, totally on the round up to 2010.
And you know, I still have no idea how to refer to these years... the ohs, the naughts, the zeros.
Back to work tomorrow. I'm actually excited, in a way. I'm excited to get back into our routine, excited for Gus to play with his friends, excited to not spend so much money... I'm not so excited about being away from Gus, though. This has been the longest amount of time I've had with him since I went back to work (I'll refrain from feeling sorry for myself that this is, in fact, true), and I loved every minute of it .
We had a lovely new year's celebration right here in our own home. For the first time ever (we swear!) we sat Gus down in front of the TV with a Baby Beethoven movie, surrounded by pillows, and covered him with a blanket. Amazingly enough, he actually sat there the whole time, which allowed us to eat our dinner with both hands. I was so shocked, I went to get the camera to capture it... no battery! Where is the battery? In the car (doesn't that make sense?). Ok, I'll video it. Umm, also in the car. Ok, I'll take pictures with our manual camera. Umm, light sensor battery is dead. I took pictures anyway, we'll see. You'll just have to imagine the cuteness.
Grandma Shirley went home today... we miss her already! Gus is now signing ball, is obsessed with fish (he now signs fish when I open the computer since I introduced him to fish videos online... fish porn?), and continues to pick up more each day.
No resolutions per se for the year, just continued good living, cutting down the debt, eating in more, printing more, relaxing more, playing more. You know, the usual.
Posted by janna at 10:31 PM