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March 30, 2006
Tummy time, contested then accepted
Posted by janna at 05:05 PM | Comments (0)
Jenn and Mary
John's cousin, Jenn, and aunt, Mary, brought us a delicious meal last night and met the littlest D. Gus was enamored with Jenn and followed her around the house.
Posted by janna at 04:40 PM | Comments (0)
It's not gas
First smiles!
These were all illicited by speaking in a really high, motherese voice saying Hiiiiiiiii Eliiiiiiii!
Posted by janna at 04:26 PM | Comments (0)
March 29, 2006
"The Summer Day"
by Mary Oliver
(as seen on the Speaking of Faith website...a radiocast on NPR)
"Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?"
Shouldn't we be asking ourselves and each other, everyday, "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with this one wild and precious day?"
Kind of makes the silly stuff seem really silly.
Posted by janna at 03:33 PM | Comments (0)
March 28, 2006
Another 'small' moment
I want to fit in a bucket that's not the size of an industrial garbage can. That's no fun compared to this! The thing is, he's not going to fit in this bucket much longer. Gus is so tall now... we don't have to roll up his pants anymore; I have to grunt when I pick him up. That's how I know he's growing up.
Posted by janna at 12:06 PM | Comments (1)
Eli's slinging it
Posted by janna at 11:56 AM | Comments (0)
I cook, too
Posted by janna at 11:53 AM | Comments (0)
Elias is 4 weeks old
Warch out, we have two GROWING boys on our hands. I'm having visions of needing two fridges, buying four gallons of milk and four loaves of bread a week. I have visions of future hunger, insatiable hunger coupled with unabounding energy as my boys grow stronger and bypass me in height by the time they're 14.
Case in point:
At one week, Eli was 21.5 inches long and was 8 lbs 5 oz.
Three weeks later, he's 22.5 inches and 10 lbs 4 oz.
That's a lot of growing. No wonder he's nursing all the time. He's got the double chin and his legs are getting those lucious rolls.
Maybe that's why I'm so hungry, too. That would be a good excuse, eh?
All else looks pretty good. He's got a touch of goopy eye and a lingering diaper rash, but we should be able to clear those up soon. He had one shot, which was plenty, and experienced his first 'silent' cry... the one where the cry is so severe that his mouth is open, his face scrunched in pain, but no sounds are coming out. Horrible. That's where the magic of the boob comes in. I was saying to John, wouldn't it be nice if the boob could create world peace, too? It seems like it could be that powerful.
Posted by janna at 10:46 AM | Comments (1)
March 26, 2006
I wrastled me a toddler
I tell Gus that it's time for a bath.
He says ok and comes with me.
We get in the bathroom, he sees the tub full, and is fine.
I go to take his clothes off, and bam. I've lost him.
He is inconsolable.
No pants off!
No shirt off!
No diaper off!
No bath!
I get him in the bath. It was time, people, really.
He won't sit down.
I bathe him standing up.
Once we're finished, I go to pick him up.
No out!
Bath now!
This struggle had only just begun. The boy was tired, TIRED, I say, so I knew he was acting completely out of exhaustion, but oh. my. god. I felt like I was abusing him, and it felt horriblem but all these things needed to happen and he didn't want any of it, by god.
Posted by janna at 10:18 PM | Comments (1)
Boob and Guy
John just made up a jingle that Eli could sing:
"Boob and Guy
are the people I see most
I guess you could call them my parents
but to me they're Boob and Guy
I'm just a small fry
with another poopy diaper"
Boob=me
Posted by janna at 09:29 PM | Comments (0)
March 24, 2006
Please remind me...
...that if I complain about Eli being up tonight, that it might have everything to do with the Dr.Pepper I drank today. I swore Dr.Pepper didn't have caffeine, until John said, "Not to be the food police, but I think Dr. Pepper has caffeine..."
I Googled. It does.
Last night we had a pretty bad stretch...I think it may have been the cheesecake and ice cream I ate. Skim milk seems to be ok, but the GOOD dairy might be suspect.
A woman I know went on a dairy-free diet when nursing her son because he had such bad colic. It worked. She ate rice krispie treats for dessert. Not bad... It's worth it.
Posted by janna at 06:50 PM | Comments (0)
Sticks
There are sticks everwhere...the van, the garage, the back porch...
Gus has his own way of classifying the sticks: Papa sticks (typically really thick), Mama sticks (tend to be shorter, thinner), and Baby sticks (itty bitty whispy ones). Sticks are often our only commodity to use to entice Gus to get in the van. If we don't allow him to bring sticks in, we are instantly met with a wailing, heartbroken boy who just wants his "Baaaayyyybbbbeeeee stiiiiiiicckkkkk," damn it.
Now that we have an infant in the back with Gus, we're carefully watching to be sure Gus doesn't use the sticks to see how 'done' Eli is, but the benefits of our growing wood pile outweigh the possibility. Now, were we still in the wagon, it would have been a bigger issue. They have a vast chasm between them now, so much so that Gus often asks, "Where's Eli??"
Posted by janna at 03:54 PM | Comments (0)
I love crown molding
Posted by janna at 03:47 PM | Comments (1)
March 22, 2006
Awake
Eli is sleeping better at night, but not perfectly. I love when he's awake, regardless of when. His eyes melt my heart
Posted by janna at 10:30 PM | Comments (0)
Hyde Park
Eli and I went down to the U of C campus to visit my friends at the lab I used to work in. Thanks for the potluck lunch, it and the company were fabulous!
Eli with Carolyn
Marie, Sarah and Martha
Sarah & Eli
Posted by janna at 10:22 PM | Comments (0)
It's not about perfection
The amount of time in any 24-hour period that I am not holding Eli or dealing with Gus is limited. In those brief moments, I'm either sleeping, showering or frantically trying to keep our house from imploding. It's the implosion prevention that got me thinking... I think I'm a perfectionist slob. I don't mean I try really hard to be the perfect slob; rather, that I want things to be perfect, and if I ever think I can't do something 'right', I jut avoid doing it at all. See, you can't fail at perfection if you don't try.
So today, in thinking about this, I want to publicly give myself a break. Janna, you don't have to try to clean everything at the same time. It IS ok to do a little bit rather than freezing and doing nothing at all.
You also don't need to live like a slob, so where's the balance?
It seems like the answer is simply efficiency. Do things quickly without comprimising the integrity of the task. Do as much as you can in 10-minute spurts...and keep practing your "I-can-make-you-a-peanut-butter-sandwich-while-nursing-Eli" act.
Just DO something.
Posted by janna at 07:55 PM | Comments (2)
March 20, 2006
Evil chocolate
I really knew better, but when presented with a box of caramel delight Girl Scout cookies, I could not resist...and for my selfishness and weakness, poor Eli paid the price. He slept one hour between 10 pm and 5 am. To say I was going out of my mind would be an understatement. He's much better now, and now I have to figure out how to eat without causing pain. I think that tomatoes are having the same effect, so now I'm on a tomato-free diet, which is much harder than I thought it would be. Maybe I'll be brave enough to try chocolate and tomatoes again in a few weeks, but for now the desire to have Eli pain-free is incentive enough.
And who knows, maybe I'll find out it wasn't chocolate and tomatoes...but then I'll have to figure out what it is. The puzzle continues...
Posted by janna at 11:45 AM | Comments (1)
March 19, 2006
Three weeks old tomorrow
Eli, how time flies!
Tomorrow you will be three weeks old. It feels like you've been here much longer, while simultaneously it feels like you were just in my belly. I'm already starting to forget how pregnant I felt, and am forgetting the pain I was in after the birth. My body seems to be bouncing back fairly well so now I don't have a reminder every time I move about the labor we went through.
You are very alert when you're awake, especially at three AM. You love it when we hold you in front of us and talk to you. It seems like you are trying to respond because you get this very excited body twitching and noise-making. I'm able to tell the difference between your hunger cry (that's when you go from no crying to an instant, high-pitched squeal), your "my-belly hurts" cry and your "would-you-change my diaper already" cry. You love it when Gus comes up and talks to you, although you're not so crazy about the screams or eye pokes. He means no harm...Gus is so in love with you. Every morning when he sees you he demands that we let him hold you, and we always make that happen. I think the thing he likes the best about you is your sneezing. Gus totally cracks up.
I've been asked quite often if I'm getting used to having two children. I don't know...I know that before you were here I couldn't fathom what having you would be like. I had heard that having a second child was exponentially harder than having one. Now that you're here, I can say that it is harder, in the sense of having to figure out the logistics of everything, but the love and joy you already bring to us overshadows the challenges. Wait until I go back to work, we'll see the challenge of logistics in action.
Posted by janna at 10:09 PM | Comments (0)
Mama's jiiiii-naahhhh
Oh my.
The other day, as I was getting into the shower, Gus came in the bathroom. He pointed to my va-jay-jay and asked, 'What's that?'
Ummm.
"That's Mama's vagina," I said matter-of-factly.
In the subsequent days, he has asked again, and I again tell him.
The other night, after telling him again, he started skipping around the dining room table, singing "Mama's jiii-nahhhhh, Mama's jiii-nahhhh" in a SING-SONGY voice.
I started laughing and looked at John. He shhhushsed me. No need to encourage him!
Posted by janna at 10:00 PM | Comments (0)
March 18, 2006
It is so. We are TOTALLY parents now.
I didn't really get to say goodbye to our Jetta wagon, but I'll be ok.
We own a minivan. And I have a total crush on it. Can you crush on a van? How geeky is that?
It was an all-day affair. Luckily Gus was at daycare because it would have been a touch of torture for him. The saleswoman we had, while very sweet in nature, knew nothing about the van we bought. She had to look in the brochure to answer any questions. We actually were describing features to her that she didn't know. Luckily the van sold itself.
Now we're looking for places to drive. Want visitors?
Posted by janna at 08:14 AM | Comments (2)
March 17, 2006
The puzzle
One would think that after getting past the initial difficulty of establishing the nursing relationship that it would (or *should*) be smooth sailing. He nurses very well, but the discomfort that often comes after nursing is so confusing.
You know the puzzle... the one where baby cries and cries because he obviously has a stomach ache, but the only way to calm him is to nurse him, which seems to make the problem worse. And then you throw in the swaddle. The swaddle should do it, right? The side hold? The swaying? The sush-ing? How about sleeping on my chest? Some gripe water to ease the pain? How about Mama crying because it's 2 am and you've been miserable for the past four and she feels helpless because she can't figure it out and you seem just beside yourself?
John finally made me sleep while he tended to Eli for another hour. Poor guy, here's his wife totally losing it, his new son is inconsolable unless nursing, Gus is waking up and crying, saying he wants to read a new book...and John keeps it together. I love him.
Here are my theories. Eli has colic (whatever the heck colic is, no one seems to know). OR. Eli is sensitive to something I'm eating (tomatoes? dairy? please God, not chocolate...). OR. Eli and his colon are arguing and the colon is winning.
I don't know.
I do know that I love him so much. I also know that he's sleeping like a champ right now. Confusing.
On that note...we're off to shop for minivans. I'm not even kidding you.
Posted by janna at 08:19 AM | Comments (2)
March 14, 2006
Hands are happily (and tiredly) full
Posted by janna at 10:16 PM | Comments (1)
Of course I am.
Thanks to Brenda for this great onesie! This will actually fit him this summer. Unbelievable.
Posted by janna at 10:08 PM | Comments (1)
Elias Big Boy
Our friend, Carrie, asked us if we got the name Elias from the Elias Big Boy restaurant chain that is apparently in Michigan. That's not where we got Eli's name, but I LOVE, love, love what Carrie sent to congratulate us:
Posted by janna at 04:55 PM | Comments (0)
Grandma & Elias
Mom's going home tonight... we'll miss you!
Posted by janna at 10:40 AM | Comments (1)
He's in!
John found out on Monday that he was accepted into the Art Institute's MFA program in visual communication! Whoo hoo!
My Mom and I were out and about when John called with the news. Mom was so happy for John, she started crying. I told John of her happy tears, and he said, "She's probably upset because I'm pulling her daughter into financial ruin."
No, John... she's probably happy that you'll be taking her daughter to some university town in a few years. You rock. I'll follow you ALMOST anywhere.
Posted by janna at 10:15 AM | Comments (4)
March 08, 2006
You know, it's like I was sayin'...
Posted by janna at 01:02 PM | Comments (3)
Working from home
Posted by janna at 12:59 PM | Comments (0)
Amy & Karl
We were so fortunate to have a surprise visit from Amy, John's cousin, and her husband, Karl!
Gus LOVES, LOVES, LOVES these people. Total adoration. They need to make babies, they'd be guaranteed good people and the world needs good new people.
Posted by janna at 12:49 PM | Comments (0)
Nine days old
Posted by janna at 12:43 PM | Comments (2)
March 06, 2006
It's not always like riding a bike
I must admit, Eli, I did decidedly less reading and prepping for your arrival thann I did with Gus. I occasionally checked a pregnancy book to see where you were in the timeline, but no other books were cracked open and no discussion lists were joined. It wasn't because I felt like I was an expert in all things baby, I think it was because I thought things would just 'come back' to me.
They don't.
I forgot that I have to burp you after you eat. I totally forgot about the spit up. I forgot that we have to clean around your umbilical cord with alcohol. I forgot that I have to hold you tightly against me when standing up because your movements can be so strong and swift and unexpected. I forgot that you might be nocturnal, choosing to spend your daily awakeness after midnight. I forgot how many diapers and clothes and burp cloths we would go through.
We're figuring it all out again.
There are some new things I never expected. I never expected for you to fit so quickly and naturally into our lives, Eli. I thought we'd all be reeling with the newness of a fourth family member and ackwardly transitioning to your presence, but we haven't floundered yet. I never expected Gus to so quickly embrace you, with my fear of him losing his only child status obviously being my own fear and not his.
I did expect, and it's been totally confirmed, that we would be so in love with you. No doubt about it.
We're on our way for our first family outing to the doctor's office for the boys. (The BOYS! That's how my Grandma would refer to her brood of four.) Wish us luck getting out the door.
Posted by janna at 07:35 AM | Comments (1)
March 03, 2006
"It's bigger than his head!" said John
Let's just say that Eli and I are having a successful nursing relationship, particularly since my milk came in.
"Buxom" does not do it justice.
Don't stare.
Posted by janna at 05:19 PM | Comments (0)
March 02, 2006
E-yai
This morning, as I was nursing Eli, Gus looks at Eli and asks, "Whatcha doin', E-yai?"
I want to bottle up the way Gus pronounces Eli and capture the utter sweetness of it forever. I want to always remember how it feels to see this precious two-year old take such pleasure in looking at and touching his baby brother, so pure is the moment.
We're on our second day at home as a family, and I have to say sleep has done everyone some good. Gus is keeping up his routine with daycare, Eli is doing all of the requisite eating, sleeping, and pooping, and John and I are taking it easy. Part of me is ready to just get up and go, but then my body reminds me of the 8-pound baby I just delivered and I sit my tush down...ever-so-gently.
So. The story.
John and I had spent a lot of emotional energy the past month wondering when Eli was coming. We were always worried about Gus and where we would be when labor began. With all that preparation and worry behind us, it really was a treat to casually walk in to the hospital, grab John a cup of coffee, and slowly make our way up to labor and delivery.
After the paperwork was complete, we settled into our room. I was put on a monitor to detect contractions and to monitor the baby. I think I had one contraction. Apparently my body just decided to stop having them, which was strange considering I had been having them for months. They started the pitocin around 11:30 in order to start the contractions up again, and it only took my body five minutes to remember what to do.
This is the point where I need to say how much I Iove John. The man had me laughing during some of the worst contractions. Belly-shaking laughing, so much so that when the monitor was capturing contractions, which typically look like one smooth hill, the laughing was making some pretty rough terrain. As the contractions increased in intensity, I went into what I call my "wounded dog" routine...you know, the one where the hurt dog hides under the porch and wants to be left alone. I became quiet, closed my eyes, and just worked through it. I could tell that John wanted to do something for me, so between contractions I told him I knew he wanted to touch me, but it was ok to not touch me because he should not touch me. Total wounded dog.
As the pitocin levels increased, so did the contractions, getting up to every two minutes. I could still talk and laugh a bit around 3:15, when my friend Maddie called me. I, being me, answered. Yes, I answered my cell phone in the midst of labor, and Maddie rightly called me crazy. At the end of our conversation, I suddenly declared, "My water just broke!" Both Maddie and John didn't seem to believe me, and I had to repeat myself. I hung up the phone at that point, honest. (Did I mention that I was sending email updates to my Mom, who was waiting at our house up to this point?)
We were off to the races.
Around four, things were intense. The nurse asked if I wanted an epidural or some pain meds in my IV to, and I quote, "take the edge off." I like edges being taken off, so I voted for the latter. For good reason, too... I mean, nothing about this pregnancy seemed to mirror my first, so who was to know if I was going to be in labor for 15 more hours? At that point, I was about as far away from delivery as physically possible... Eli was still way up, no where near the exit, I was only 4 cm dialated and still had to efface 30 percent. Those stats scared me. Take the edge off, please.
It wasn't until AFTER the nurse injected the meds that I found out it was a narcotic. Oh, and you might feel dizzy. Oh, and the pain doesn't totally go away.
It wasn't until AFTER the medicine took hold that I found out that the dizziness stays, that the pain doesn't go away at all, but most importantly, you don't care about the pain because you're hallucinating.
Yes. Hallucinations are part of your birth story, Eli. Sorry.
I was trying to vocalize what I was seeing to John, but I wasn't able to do it justice.
"It's like a cartoon," I said.
"It's animated."
"It's perfect." (I do remember that...not in like 'la la perfect', but all the patterns I was seeing were perfect, or better yet, exact... why am I trying to describe this?)
And between each patterned episode came the contractions. A minute apart. Fully felt but I was in 'perfect' land.
And an hour after getting this drug, an hour after hearing the not-so-great status report, with three pushes, we had Eli.
And I was still in 'perfect' land.
It's probably for the best. I think I would have freaked out at how quickly that last hour went, and when all was said and done, we had Eli, in all of his 8 lb 2 oz glory. Holding him quickly brought me back to reality.
It's really shocking how much he looks like Gus at first glance, but with closer inspection we can see the differences...the dimpled chin, his lips seem a bit different, the cheeks different, too. We keep saying how familiar he seems. Gus seems to feel the same way. He hasn't asked us to take Eli away.
So, E-yai, we are so, so, happy you are here and can't wait for everyone to meet you.
I guess it's time to update the blog header to 'Life with Gustav and Elias'. I love it.
Posted by janna at 08:50 PM | Comments (2)
March 01, 2006
More Eli pictures
Click on the first pic to get a slideshow...
The story will come tomorrow...sleep comes today!
Posted by janna at 09:24 PM | Comments (1)