« December 2006 | Main | February 2007 »
January 28, 2007
Eleven months old
A year ago I went off of bedrest and, in earnest, resumed an active life, all with the expectation that I would have Eli early. Of course, he lingered until the very end, but I bring this up to illustrate how in utero behavior does not predict future behavior.
Elias is anything but a lingerer. The kid is on the go, constantly, and really gets angry when we stop him from climbing the step stool, stop him from putting another car in the toilet, or stop him from diving off the couch. (We are total hard-asses, I know.)
He is still taking a random step here and there, but I hesitate to say he's walking just yet. I'm actually excited for walking, because I think it will be slower than crawling...at least for the first week.
The eleventh month is a milestone for me, too. It means I will just be pumping at work for one more month. I could jump up and down. I stopped pumping at eleven months with Gus since I was starting my job at Orbitz and didn't feel like trying to figure out that routine my first weeks. Now, I might actually miss the quiet time as I can retreat and work in the new Mom's room at work while taking care of business.
Eh, I think I'll be ok.
Posted by janna at 02:27 PM | Comments (1)
January 27, 2007
gus has had quite a good week
Last Sunday was the last full day of diapers for Gus. We made a deal that Monday we would start the training in earnest. He has surpassed all expectations, to the point where now he's even taking naps without a diaper. His mood is better, too. It must feel good to know you can do the thing you thought you couldn't do.
Posted by janna at 02:26 PM | Comments (2)
January 23, 2007
Parent like your hair is on fire.
There's a new book out by Rafe Esquith, a Los Angeles public school teacher, in which Esquith details out his amazing teaching methods. I have yet to read it, but from what I saw of Esquith on a PBS documentary, I know it will be worth my time.
Just hearing the title made me think about parenting...when I'm tuned out or turned off, the environment is ripe for misunderstandings, blow ups, tantrums and tears. But when I'm on... it's a whole different world.
It got me to thinking: How can I be 'ON' more often?
The past several days have been challenging and eye-opening for Gus, John and I. (Eli is still here.... he's just dealing with his own set of challenges, like walking, teeth, and general frustration at us stopping him from climbing). But Gus, being of older and more complicated dealings, is definitely feeling some growing pains. He feels everything so intensely, so rapidly, that it is often hard to keep up with what he's feeling, why he's feeling it, and how we should best respond.
To that end, when I'm 'off', the confusion is heightened. I don't mirror his emotions back to him well, I don't give him new ways to express himself....I basically just react, which starts a chain reaction of confusion. When I'm 'on' (=parenting like my hair is on fire), I can turn his mood around in less than a minute, helping him vocalize his feelings rather than melting down.
It comes down to this: He needs the boundaries we provide, he needs us to recognize and give him the words to say to express his intense feelings, and he needs us most of all to be compassionate and non-judgemental. It's the difference between saying, "There's no reason to cry," and saying, "It must have been frustrating for you." Let him feel what he feels, but give him alternatives to expressing it.
In the end, we are a safe place for Gus to fall. And anyway, these experiences are only confirming what I suspected: We are SO parents now. And it is the hardest job I will ever have.
Posted by janna at 09:07 PM | Comments (1)
we live in a gendered world
This is my son, Elias, wearing a borrowed snowsuit. Amazing how inherently wrong it feels to see him wearing it. Of course that didn't stop me from taking pictures.
Posted by janna at 09:26 AM | Comments (1)
January 21, 2007
he took his first steps today
Four times tonight, as Eli waited for his bath, he took two steps. I hesitate to say he's walking, but he is finding his balance and will soon be taking off from me in the grocery store.
Posted by janna at 10:26 PM | Comments (0)
January 18, 2007
so grown up
I was just looking at pictures from last June, which seems like five years ago on the parenthood calendar. Gus has changed so much. Never could I have imagined such a sweet boy.
Posted by janna at 07:12 PM | Comments (1)
January 08, 2007
Savoring this time
John is asleep on the couch next to me.
Were this a month ago, I would be waking him up, getting him some coffee and encouraging him on his way to finishing up his first semester of graduate school. Now, I can let him sleep. Winter break came and went, but now the school is in winter session, so John is working the 9-5 for a few weeks.
Now that Eli is starting to go down a bit easier (knock on wood), and John will soon be back at it, I'm trying to decide how I want to spend my free time of, oh, an hour or two at night (juggled with other household duties). For the longest time, Babydays was my only extracurricular activity. Then John had to go and buy me a crazy camera, and then I had to actually practice and try to figure out how to use it. That's when Flickr really came into play, and then I had two obsessions. Now I'm trying to figure out how to balance those things.
But come on... balance? What the heck does that mean? And does it really even exist? Don't we just need to DO? You know what I really need to 'balance'? Is sleeping. I'm not doing a very good job sitting up at 11:25 writing when I really need sleep. I need more than 5 hours in a row (and that actually hasn't happened for a long time.)
Posted by janna at 11:12 PM | Comments (1)
January 04, 2007
Moving beyond the literal and the now
Gustav's brain is on the grow...on the stretch...on the busy.
He's starting to ask about things that will happen in the future: Where are we going?
He's starting to make declarations about the future:
(after explaining to Gus that John is not in school right now, but is working at Orbitz)
Gus: "Someday, I will work at Orbitz."
Me: "Oh yeah?"
Gus: "I will have an Orbitz."
Me: "What will your Orbitz look like?"
Gus: "School."
He's starting to display immense amounts of empathy:
(John on the couch last night, feeling under the weather)
(Gus has covered John with a blanket and the pants from his own pajamas. He has also put stuffed animals next to John, and keeps kissing him and turning off the pretend light.)
Gus: "Mama, shhhh! John is sleeping."
He is starting to play with sentences and words: He came up with a version of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" where the last word of every verse started with the letter "B".
He's starting to make connections about our family:
Gus: "I just farted. I fart like Papa."
John: "Yes, you do."
Me: (laughing, laughing, laughing, nodding my head)
Gus: "Mama, you don't fart."
Me: (laughing, laughing) "You're right!"
Eli is also catching on to this language business. Just tonight he shook his head when I tried to give him some food, then he signed 'more' when he wanted more crackers. To end the meal, he suddenly signed 'finished', then immediately signed 'milk'. He gets so excited when I understand him.
And the smile... the smile is totally turned on now. We used to have to work for a smile, but the advent of teeth has created the smiley-ist boy ever. Eli is crawling all over the place, surfing the furniture with ease, and is starting to stand up on his own for seconds at a time.
We just came back from a trip to my Mom's house, which we haven't been to in two years! I will get the pictures up this weekend. So wonderful to see some dear friends. I have to say, my brain still hasn't caught up with the reality of being a mother, particularly when I am in Council Bluffs. I wasn't forgetting my children or anything, it's just that my identity there is of a daughter, of a school-goer, of a dependent, not as the mother of children at Grandma's house. Big big disconnect in my brain.
Posted by janna at 11:54 PM | Comments (0)