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December 04, 2003
Soon?
It's 4 am... I had to get out of bed a few minutes ago because the contractions and pain were waking me up so frequently. I'm trying to see if moving around and eating something will change things. The contractions travel down across my belly and then really tighten up very low. Is that sensation the baby engaging? Is it me dilating more? We went to the docs today (or I guess it's yesterday by now) for our weekly appointment. I was 2 cm dilated, still 50% effaced (13 weeks of bedrest kept it there, or would it always have stayed that way?). My marching orders are to go to the hospital when I'm having contractions every five minutes or my water has broken.
I'm excited and nervous and anxious and excited and scared and excited and part of me wants to just go back to sleep and have sleep and part of me just wants it to happen so I can meet Baby D. He's still not real to me, even though he is as present an entity as he has ever been to this point. When I have contractions my uterus shapes to his body, I can feel him clearly. I think his little (or not so little) feet are snug up against my right ribs. Before we went to bed, I was having contractions that so distorted my belly, really accentuating his position, destroying the myth of the perfect round belly (I never thought it would contort like this!).
I'm having some peanut butter toast. I'm slightly paranoid about having to go in to the hospital in the middle of the night having had nothing to eat, because I suspect once I'm there I won't be having anything to eat either. How could I possibly deliver a baby with no energy? I guess you just do it...
Well, Baby D, I think our days of cohabitation are numbered. Pretty soon you'll be breathing on your own, pumping your own blood, smiling your own smiles. I wonder who you are, who you'll be, what little quirks you'll have (after all, you are a product of us, and we're full of quirks). There are many people who await your arrival. We can't wait to make you a part of our days. Come out when you're ready, because I think we're as ready as we'll ever be!
Posted by janna at December 4, 2003 04:16 AM
Comments
Hearty congratulations! I can't believe you are finding time to write on your website! Sorry to hear the women are ill! Had to comment on Janna's phrase that she is still processing it all. After three months, so am I. I even got my full medical record, trying to figure out just what happened to me during (a considerably longer!) labor/delivery. Maybe you will never be able to fully process this mundane, yet miraculous event! May the holidays find you holding Gus and breathing in his delightful baby smells as he sleeps! Wonderful news!
Posted by: Cindie A at ISD at December 11, 2003 03:30 PM