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November 03, 2005
Uncharted territory
On Saturday I will be 24 weeks along with little baby D. While I have only been pregnant once before (and therefore my range of experience is hardly a range), I do not know pregnancy in the outside world after 24 weeks. I only know couches and weekly excursions to the doctor's office and medicine for pre-term labor EVERY THREE HOURS and maybe, if I was lucky, a trip through the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru on a Saturday morning so I could get a hot chocolate and apple fritter (don't tell, that was a total cheat).
I have to admit, while I have been suprisingly optimistic about not having to experience the same things with this pregnancy, I was really bracing myself for that reality.
Today, during my monthy check-up with my doctor, she checked my cervix. This very useful but pesky part of my body was the culprit in my three-month bedrest last time around. I am happy to announce...that my cervix is long and thick. Now, I don't know how to really write that without feeling like I'm creeping into porn blog writing, but really, I want to scream at the top of my lungs, IT'S THICK AND LONG! I fear no one will 'get it' and think I'm a bit crazy.
I started crying after my doc left the room. I thought it would be a short cry, but it was a sobbing cry, a body-wracking cry, a cry full of disbelief. While I still am having contractions and I still am high risk, I don't have to go back to the doctor for a month. A whole month, which gets me to 27 weeks. A whole month of not being paranoid that every movement I'm taking is risking my child's life. A whole month of seeing friends, driving, working, living OUT THERE. Such a relief. I had no idea I was so stressed out about it.
Posted by janna at November 3, 2005 10:29 PM