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July 07, 2005
Fear?
I hate that there is evil. I hate that there can be two people evaluating the same choice and both will have opposite decisions, both considered RIGHT.
One person will look at putting a backpack with a bomb on a train as pure evil, masochistic, egoistic even. Another will believe that putting that same backpack will further their cause, their belief that much more, or get them that much closer to some kind of religious or political salvation.
I look at that backpack and I think, "Gus has to live in a world where this is in the realm of possibility?"
Give the boy a break.
He already is living in a world full of STDs, HIV, AIDS.
It seems like there are incredibly nasty drugs around every corner.
He won't be able to drive a car because gas will cost $25 a gallon.
Pollution infiltrates his air and water.
A lot of the milk he drinks is probably full of hormones.
He won't be able to ride his bike freely in the street without worry of getting hurt.
He'll never get to play outside in the woods at the age of seven without me around, with only the streetlight coming on as the cue to go home.
I feel like I could go on and on with the list, but I'm upset that that is the first list I made. I hate that the fear of something happening precedes my hope.
So here goes.
I hope that we continue to list out the things that we enjoyed about the day, and the things we're thankful for, before going to bed.
I hope that people continue to look out for each other, see the best in each other.
I hope we slow down and savor.
I hope we keep the TV off as much as possible so we can sit back and watch Gus marvel in the horsefly flying around the house or listen to him tell us stories of his day.
I hope we can shield Gus from unnecessary fear and allow him to really enjoy the only time in life when you shouldn't have to worry about anything... other than, "Is the fly going to land on my head again?"
Posted by janna at July 7, 2005 10:19 PM